Poly-Centric Living

The belief system I grew up with taught me mono thinking. Meaning it didn't matter what subject, there was only one answer/view point. And this mono-ness extended from my view of my self, others, ideas and spirituality. There is only one right view and damn all the rest.

So I spent years trying to single thread my life. To squeeze all the different parts inside of me into one mold. I allowed myself only one hobby/interest at a time. I sought to have only one close friend at a time. I could only believe in one idea at a time. I married one woman for life. I could have only one career. I could worship only one God. I could have only one purpose in life so I had better make the right choice the first time.

And I suffered as a lot of areas in my life went unfulfilled. All the other things I wished I could do, tainted the one hobby/interest that I tried to concentrate on. I lost some good friends as each friendship had to end before the next could start.

Each idea had to be defended at all costs from any other idea. And I went through trauma if a different idea beat mine. I was crushed every time my one wife did not share my marital dreams. My one career became a bore. I was bitter that my one and only God did not live up to all my expectations. It seemed that no single purpose was ever the right choice that filled me completely.

Consistently applying mono thinking to every area consistently brought me unhappiness. I can see mono thinking works well for others, but it did not work for me. I chose to start looking for a different way to think.

What I found was a way to allow 'many'. To see myself with many valid parts and find the proper place for each. To be able to add a new pursuit without having to forsake the one I already had. To enjoy many friendships and believe in cherishing them all. To allow many ideas to co-exist, even paradoxes. To be open to multiple lovers so no one had to be my everything. To diversify into more than one life's work. To know many Gods and Goddesses each with their strengths and limits. To have multiple purposes that swirl together.

This is what being poly means to me. It allows me to timeshare, fulfilling much more of myself and others in my limited life. And in this mixture of many, tip the scales from emptiness to fullness.

Your mileage may very.